


You Should Be Here

by bobilina



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bittersweet, Character Death, Death, Depression, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Married Life, Memories, One Shot, Original Character Death(s), Self-Indulgent, Slice of Life, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Wakes & Funerals, i literally wrote this in my physics period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:46:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6745477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobilina/pseuds/bobilina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke fended off the hysteria that hovered over him since he'd found her sleeping just a little too deeply. He held it together for the paramedics, for the phone calls to family and friends and insurance companies. He got through organizing a funeral and listening to all the people give their condolences while the woman he loved rested at the alter. But now, in their home with the people they loved and all the memories she gave to them, it could be more than Luke could handle alone...</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Should Be Here

_ _

_It's perfect outside it's like God let me dial up the weather_  
_Got the whole crew here, I ain't seen some of them in forever._  
_It's one of those never forget it, better stop and take it in kinda scenes._  
_Everything's just right yeah except for one thing._

“Hey, man,” Calum pulled him in for a hug. His grip was tight and the tears Luke thought had passed burned his eyes.

“Thanks for being here,” Luke said, just like he’d been saying to every friend, family member, and people now strangers from their past that came with condolences and memories to share.

“How are you doing?”

Luke gripped the back of Cal’s dress shirt, surely wrinkling the pressed fabric, but neither boy gave a damn. He tucked his head into his friend’s neck.

“It’s weird, but I just keep thinking that she would be so much better at handling all of this. She’d know what to do with flowers and caterers and talking to all these people. It’d be so much better if she was just here. She’d think it was great to have everyone together hanging out.”

“I know,” Cal soothed. “But that’s what it’s supposed to be right? Enjoying familiar company and celebrating someone you all love. You can sit around and swap stories. You know that that’s exactly what she would’ve wanted, anyways.”

Luke took a deep breath and nodded into his friend’s shoulder. Cal gave him one last squeeze before pulling back.

“Michael and Ash are bringing in some stuff from the car,” he said. “Let’s go join everyone in the living room, ‘kay?”

 _You should be here, standing with your arm around me here._  
_Cutting up, cracking a cold beer, saying cheers, hey y'all it's sure been a good year._  
_It's one of those moments, that's got your name written all over it._  
_And you know that if I had just one wish it'd be that you didn't have to miss this_  
_You should be here._

“It was her eighteenth birthday, and I surprised her with tickets to see her two absolute favorite bands performing together. She’d been ridiculously obsessed with them for years. Like, there were times I genuinely worried for her well-being,” Luke chuckled, face still warm and sticky with tears, a mixture of despair and laughter wetting his cheeks. “She was practically vibrating when we walked in. By the time the opening bands were off, we’d shoved our way to basically the front of the mosh pit. Now, I loved these bands, too, but I honestly couldn’t keep my eyes focused on the stage. She was just so happy in that moment, and her smile was up to her eyes as she kept screaming every word and jumping around that I couldn’t look away. I’d never seen her so euphoric. She was just completely gone and lost in the music. My favorite part of the whole show was just _watching_ her...”

“Get to the good part,” Michael laughed. Luke looked to him and shot him a thankful smile for noticing he’d gotten stuck in his head for a moment too long.

“Yeah, yeah, sit tight,” he continued. “So, the second band was on and had about three songs left, but we were so ridiculously thirsty and hot and she was struggling to keep up with the crowd. She asked if we could go to the drinking fountain out in the hall. We figured we’d get some water and finish watching the show from the side since there was no way we’d be getting back to our spot in the front. We were walking back and had just taken a few steps into the auditorium when the lead singer of the first band was walking straight towards us, heading backstage. Basically, she got a picture with him and it all happened so fast and when he was gone, she just stood there with this absolute disbelieving expression. Her hands were shaking and she just hurried and collapsed against me with the biggest smile. Her eyes looked electric, she was just _buzzing_. She didn’t come down from that high for days.”

“She was always so passionate about that stuff,” Ashton laughed, staring without focus.

Luke looked down at his hands and twisted his ring. He gave a gentle nod and an intimate smile.

 _You'd be taking way too many pictures on your phone._  
_Showing them off to everybody that you know back home._  
_And even some you don't yeah_  
_They say now you're in a better place_  
_And I would be too if I could see your face._

Luke gripped the cold porcelain sink. He rocked back and forth, staring straight at the mirror in front of him. A knock on the door startled him and he tugged his hair so harshly as he tried to pull himself together that his fingers fell with some blonde strands. He sucked in a breath and unlocked the door.

Michael stepped through with a sad smile he tried to brighten with little success.

“Hey, dude. You all right in here?” he asked carefully and shut the door behind him.

Luke scoffed. His expression was clouded with panic and he wished the fucking burning behind his eyes would just run out of flames already. Tears tracked his cheeks, following the paths left by all those before them.

“No, I’m not all right!” he laughed manically. “I can’t do this shit without her! How do I handle all if this?! I need her _here_! Why the fuck isn’t she here?!” Luke screamed, finally giving in to the hysteria that had been hovering around him since he found her sleeping just too deeply. He held it together for the paramedics, for the phone calls to family and friends and insurance companies. He got through organizing a funeral and listening to all the people give their condolences while the woman he loved rested at the alter. But now, in their home with the people they loved and all the memories she gave to them, it became too much.

Luke finally gave in and collapsed on the unforgiving tile floor.

 _You should be here, standing with your arm around me here._  
_Cutting up, cracking a cold beer, saying cheers, hey y'all it's sure been a good year._  
_It's one of those moments, that's got your name written all over it._  
_And you know that if I had just one wish it'd be that you didn't have to miss this._  
_Aw you should be here._  
  
“Deep breaths,” Ashton hushed in his ear. Luke tried to calm his lungs but it’d been twenty minutes and breathing still seemed like a chore. He clutched tighter to Ash’s now tear stained shirt and crawled further into his lap.

Calum came back into the bedroom with a cold water bottle and passed it to Luke, insisting he drank it.

“Michael’s just letting Ben know we’re up here. He and Jack can handle everything down there for a little while,” Cal said and sat down in front of them with one leg hanging off the bed. Luke nodded and took a couple sips before Michael was slowly pushing open the door and slipping in.

“Any better?”

“He's breathing,” Cal sighed.

“I’m better, I think,” Luke mumbled, capping the bottle and setting it off to the side. Michael came around and sat across the bed from Calum, folding his legs underneath him. Everyone's shoes were long gone and their stiff jackets tossed somewhere out of sight.

“Thanks for being here, guys,” Luke let out with a heavy breath. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess at the moment,” he laughed self-deprecatingly.

“Shut up, your wife died, you're supposed to be a mess. If you weren't I’d worry you killed her,” Michael laughed. Calum swatted his chest with an eye roll.

“Not the time, Michael,” he groaned.

“Why not?” Michael asked petulantly. “You know she’d be saying the same thing. She’d totally be making jokes about black widows and gold diggers.”

“We got married in a community center and sterling silver wedding bands we found on sale,” Luke laughed. “If either of us were after money, we were looking in the damn wrong places.”

The boys all laughed with him at the memories of the suspicious smelling hall and the Walmart wedding rings.

“At least you got her a real one eventually,” Michael chuckled.

“Yeah, only took me ten years.”

Luke let out a sigh and took a moment to look around at where he was. He had his best friends with warm hearts and growing laughter lines lounging together in bed, underneath the most bizarre painting of a French cow with a bonnet hanging above them that the love of his life insisted was a truly beautiful work of art. Apparently, the cow was waiting for her love to return to her, wishing he could be back but never doubting that he would be there when he could. The boy cow could be seen off to the side of the canvas sneaking through the door with his bags, planning to surprise his lady love. All he could think about was how much she would have loved to be able to hang out with her boys, snuggled up in sweats to spend hours fooling around and watching her favorite movies for the millionth time all together.

 _You'd be loving this, you'd be freaking_ _out, you'd be smiling, yeah_  
_I know you'd be all about what's going on right here right now._  
_God I wish somehow you could be here._

 _Oh you should be here_ _._  
  
“What am I going to do with all this fucking food?” Luke laughed exasperatedly, looking at all of the leftovers and frozen meals their friends and family and neighbors had been bringing over all week.

“Is that a serious question?” Michael laughed. “Your wife would already be plopped down with a platter and a fork if she had this much food in front of her.”

“You should probably make that last, mate,” Ashton giggled. “You're not exactly known for your culinary expertise.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Luke chuckled.

“How about,” Calum said, “we take the huge lasagna dish and sit on the couch with four forks and binge watch until it's gone, and we’ll freeze the rest.”

“Sounds perfect.” Luke smiled.

 _Yeah this is one of those moments that's got your name written all over it_  
_And you know that if I have just one wish it'd be that you didn't have to miss this._  
_Aw you should be here._  
_You should be here._

_ _

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored in Physics and had this song stuck in my head and this is what I ended up with by the bell... :)


End file.
